So You Want A Parade?
Well with the uncharacteristic wins that the Leafs have been
having lately many of the self-righteous fans are acting a bit smug. It seems
that they are already planning the parade route for June. There is only one
parade happening in June in Toronto, and if you aren't gay and proud, chances are
you won't be marching in it. (A really cheap shot could be made here, but I
think I'm above that)
Reporters say that this is the best performing leafs team since the 60's. Well congratulations to the stupid leaf. Not since they only had 5 opponents in the league have they done this well. All the laff's fans seem certain that this is the year the perennial losers will win a Stanley Cup. Does this refrain sound familiar? Last year I remember hearing from all the leaf's fans that they would win the cup now that they had Ed Belfour. Think back really hard. What happened? A HUMILIATING FIRST ROUND EXIT. Ouch. You don't hear too many leafs fans bragging about that, do you?
I have been hearing the laffs fans claim they will be victorious for as long as I can remember. How arrogant a person do you have to be to claim that a group of hockey players that you have absolutely no bearing over, will in fact win enough games to make the NHL playoffs and win 3 qualifying rounds and then the finals? You have to have the arrogance of a leafs fan.
This arrogance is hand in hand with living in Toronto. I don't want to say all people from Toronto are scum, but they make it very hard not to. Quoting a great song, "And the women are big and the men are dumb, and the children are loopy 'cause they live in a slum! The water is polluted and their mayor's a dork, they dress real bad and they think they're New York. In Toronto." It's all true.
If you are from away and you want to visit Ontario, please come to Ottawa. The people are much friendlier, the air is much cleaner and there is a much better hockey team. Ottawa is the capital of the great nation of Canada, not the mediocre province of Ontario. Ottawa has a beautiful Peace Tower. Toronto has an ugly "Look at me tower." It was built as a monument to the men of Toronto. (They are a bit apprehensive about their 'size' so they try and make up for it in other ways.) Any mayor that Ottawa has ever had, never went on TV and claimed to have the Baseball all-star game coming on a year it wasn't. And people from Ottawa never threw bottles of urine at the performers at a concert benefiting tourism after a SARS outbreak. Honestly, who would want to be associated with anyone from a city that throws piss bombs during a charity event?
You want to plan a parade Toronto? Succeed from this great nation and take your piece of crap hockey team with you. I guarantee that the majority of 25 million other people in the country won't miss you, and will march in the parade too see you off.
That's my Two Minutes
Timmons
Email: timmons@ihatetheleafs.com
What do you think of Two Minutes With Timmons? Click here to sign the guestbook and let us know!