Has This Ever Happened To You?
You're sitting at a bar with your buds watching the Senators
or the Canucks pummeling some team that isn't the Toronto Maple Laffs, when
someone (obviously not someone of taste or brains) walks up and asks, "Hey man,
are the leafs winning?"
This is quite possibly one of the most annoying things in the world. Here's a note to all of you blue and white leaf loving nitwits out there: Just because a hockey game is on does not mean that the stupid leaf is playing.
Each team plays 82 games in the regular season. With 30 teams at 82 games (divided by 2 because two teams are needed for a game) that means that there are 1230 different games a season. This does not include the preseason or the playoffs. So with the laffs only playing 82 out of 1230 games or about 7% of the games in the NHL, why do leaf fans always assume that a hockey game is a leaf game? Bars also show games from junior hockey leagues, the AHL, international hockey etc. That drops the leafs average well below 7%.
Its not that hard to look and see the TV! If you don't see a team wearing the ugly leaf colours, don't assume it's a leaf game. Some leaf fans might argue that the leafs might also be playing at that particular time, so why not ask? Unless they know for a fact the laffs are playing, don't ask. Most laffs fans don't know when the laffs play anyway so their point is mostly moot.
If someone comes up and asks "Are the leafs winning?" here is the blanket answer I give to the ignoramus: "Nope, since they traded Shane Hnidy they have lost 3 in a row." At this point most leaf fans go on about what a bad move trading Hnidy was. Some even get violent. (Hitting the bar, kicking chairs, etc.) Sometimes their leaf loving buddies come in and upon hearing the news from their dimwitted brethren they get upset too. I have yet to have one leaf fan say, "The Leafs never had Shane Hnidy."
I would venture to say that Leaf's fans are there because their father was a leafs fan back in the 50's and 60's. They simply follow in their father's misguided footsteps. They know nothing about professional hockey other than what they see when they watch the leafs play. Even then they don't know the players on their team.
Simply put the toronto maple leafs are there for the lower intelligent level people who claim to be hockey fans. They can lead their ignorant lives in the packs of leafs fans because morons stick together. I don't blame them. If I were a leafs fan I probably would want the comfort of the other morons too.
I'm off to watch the game at a bar with NHL Centre Ice. Hopefully some ignorant jerk won't bug me. The leafs don't even play tonight.
That's my Two Minutes
Timmons
Email: timmons@ihatetheleafs.com
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