Remembrance Day In Laffland
When I bought my Remembrance Day plastic poppy this year, I took a marker and colored it blue. I pinned it to my jacket and went out for a walk, stopping in at a nearby grocery store. In the checkout line, an elderly lady noticed my blue poppy. I wondered as she stared at it for several straight seconds if she thought I was being deliberately disrespectful. I knew I had to explain.
You see, Remembrance Day to me and the poppy symbol, especially in Toronto, has come to mean more than just the tragedy of war that we don’t want anyone to forget. It is also the other atrocities of local history we have to be reminded of from time to time so that hopefully, they never occur again.
I proceeded to explain to this concerned citizen that the color blue is associated with the Toronto Maple Leafs in Toronto and how I hoped that nobody was soon forgetting the unforgivable 19 year nightmare of child molestation at Maple Leaf Gardens. “This year I’ve chosen to also remember other events that I hope will never happen again,” I clarified. As she turned away, I wondered if she concurred with my outward statement of revulsion for the leaf and what occurred for so many years right under the noses of leaf management. She turned back to me and shook her head affirmatively, “good for you!” The checkout cashier overheard our conversation and gave me a reassuring smile. That felt good.
Unfortunately too many leaf fans have already forgiven and forgotten the highest scoring trio in leaf history – Gordon Stuckless, John Paul Roby and George Hannah, now renowned in Laffland as “the Usher Line.” Did you know that no leaf player on the ice has ever scored 500 goals as a leaf, but Gordon Stuckless himself was charged with 572 counts of child molestation? Yeah leaf fans, that’s a team record.
Where were the bosses when all this was going on? Where were leaf managers, the same group of guys responsible for building that ever-winning team on the ice that leaf fans have grown to love unconditionally? Don’t give me that crap that the team had nothing to do with those horrific crimes against innocent children. The players, the ushers and everyone else involved received their paycheck from the same employer – the leaf. You cannot disassociate what went on under the stands with what transpired on the ice. If you want to be a leaf fan, you have to accept all the baggage that comes with the ghoulish history of this organization. Otherwise, you’re just an ignorant simpleton.
So let’s take a look at some of the transactions leaf managers were distracted with during the leaf pedophile years between 1969 and 1988.
In the 1970’s, leaf G.M., Jim Gregory had built a decently respectable team, despite the consistent hands-on and distracting meddling of late leaf owner, Harold Ballard. But in 1978 and again in ’79, the Montreal Canadiens embarrassed the leaf in two consecutive years in the playoffs with 4 games to 0 sweeps. Ballard decided it was time to put his own stamp on the team. So he fired Gregory and brought back ex-leaf G.M., Punch Imlach. Imlach had been the architect of leaf Cup success in the 1960’s but by 1979, his abrasive style had become archaic and long out-dated. Imlach proceeded to tear apart the leaf team Gregory had constructed, much to the chagrin of leaf fans.
During a ten week rampage beginning in December of 1979, the leaf traded away, Lanny McDonald, Pat Boutette, Joel Quenneville, Tiger Williams, Jerry Butler, Walt McKechnie and Dave Hutchison. Most of these guys had been pretty popular players amongst leaf fans. Many a fan proclaimed they’d never forgive the leaf for trading away Lanny and the gang. Something about dumb leafer sheep though, they forget pretty quickly.
Without getting into too much detail about what the leaf received in return for these seven guys extracted from the leaf team core, suffice to say the returns were a whole lot less than what the leaf had given up. For instance, in a straight up trade for fan favorite and dependable, rugged winger, Pat Boutette, the leaf received career minor leaguer, Bob Stephenson. Bob went on to play just 14 games as a leaf. Stupid leaf.
Usher in the 1980’s, the worst decade in leaf history, by far. What a joke. Just to give you a flavor for the kind of leaf bumbling that went on, let’s trace forward from the acquisition of Laurie Boschman, the leaf’s first round draft choice (9th overall) in 1979.
Boschman played two and a half seasons for the leaf. Then leaf management openly ridiculed Boschman’s newly found religious convictions. They mocked him publicly. He was sent packing. For the leaf, he scored 39 goals. In eleven more seasons, mostly as a Winnipeg Jet, as well as providing toughness and leadership, Boschman scored 190 more goals.
Boschman was traded away for Walt Poddubny. Walt had one decent season in Laffland with 28 goals and 59 points, but he too saved his best for the next team. In total with the leaf, Poddubny recorded 59 goals but went on to score 125 more in his career after he was traded away in 1986 to the Rangers for Mike Allison.
Mike Allison, in turn stayed for a year and a bit scoring 7 goals for Toronto. In 1987 he was traded to the L.A. Kings for Sean McKenna. Allison went on to score 32 more goals for the Kings. Meanwhile, McKenna spent most of his leaf career in the minors at Newmarket but he did get 5 huge goals with the big leaf. Have you been adding up all the goals Boschman, Poddubny and Allison scored elsewhere in this downward spiral of leaf futility?
Hopefully you can begin to sense the chain of abuse leaf fans had to endure through these and many other transactions throughout the ‘80’s? Oops, maybe I shouldn’t use the word “abuse” because we know how the Usher Line was racking up abuse points under the stands where the cries of little boys were stifled by the roar of the leafer crowd in Maple Leaf Gardens as the leaf got its stupid ass kicked-in on the ice over and over again. Lest we forget.
I hate the leaf
Blow leaf blow
Leafhatred.
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